5 Principles for Effective Disagreement

Did you know that only 5% of decisions are made by single leaders, and 95% of decisions require team collaboration?

Despite this, technically talented teams are often hesitant to share their opinions due to social conditioning or lack of experience. When teams are coached on collaborative team intelligence, they can learn ways to constructively disagree with colleagues, leading to better decisions, and ultimately becoming more productive, unified and committed. 

So how can you help your team become more comfortable with airing their disagreements? Here are 5 key principles that will help your team speak up and contribute to the common good of the organization.

Create Relational Safety

We all have a natural inclination to ensure our survival, and our fear response when triggered is to fight, flight, or freeze. When it comes to voicing disagreements, your team needs to feel a sense of relational safety to contribute. If someone feels a timeline is unrealistic, for example, they need to know they are still part of the team if they challenge that. When we feel safe, we aren’t preoccupied with fear, and our brains simply work better. Find ways to “let down your guard” with each other to create a sense of belonging. It’s been said that you never tease anyone you don’t really like. Stories about our funny mishaps, memories that are part of the team “story”, and laughter in general, help create strong relations.

Clarify Group Agreements - Permission to Disagree

Decide as a group how you want to work with each other, and put that into words. Too often teams focus on the deliverables and deadlines, and ignore setting up group agreements. These agreements help a team know what’s OK, such as mutual respect, showing up on time and agreeing to disagree. With these agreements in place, team members have permission to disagree, and are less reluctant to challenge questionable assumptions. It could also be agreed that it’s not OK to stay mum if someone spots an oversight.

Identify the Shared Goal

It’s important for all team members to learn how to disagree effectively. A useful way to look at the disagreement is to consider what outcome is best for the “higher good” of the team and organization. This helps frame the disagreement in a way that feels less personal, and more about what the shared goals are. By encouraging thoughtful debate at this level, individual team members who might feel embarrassed to voice opinions that go against a senior team member will be more likely to speak up.

Check Your Words - Don’t be Judgmental

When concerns are raised, team members need to carefully word their arguments in a way that is non-judgmental. Using words like, crazy, weak, or stupid creates contempt and shuts down the conversation. Lay out your argument in a way that takes individuals out of the equation and rests more on logic. Share facts and evidence from past experience, such as citing the number of resources that were required to do a similar project in the past, and why a similar time frame for the project in question is not realistic. Remind your team that the focus of the dialogue is the goal, but not at the expense of damaged relationships.

Show Respect for Differences (Platinum Rule)

The golden rule is: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but in team dynamics, it's even better to use the platinum rule, which is: Do unto others the way they would like to be treated, meaning having awareness of individual preferences, which could be quite different from yours. When it comes to disagreements, using an approach of directness may only work for certain individuals. A different approach will be required with someone who does not like direct confrontation. So how do you know each other's preferences? This takes time to discover through experience; it may also be discovered as part of setting up group agreements. But, when in doubt, treat each other with respect, and use neutral, nonjudgmental language. If you’re not sure how a disagreement will land, take a moment to simply ask, “is it OK if I bring up a different point of view on that?”

Let’s start a conversation on how I can help you build teams that can effectively disagree. What are your pain points when it comes to teams? I can help address your challenges and get back on track with your goals. Choose a time that works for you by clicking on the Free Consult button.