Busting The Confidence Myth
For so long we have been told the thing to pursue in order to be successful is confidence. We take it to be a necessary ingredient for everything from being a successful business owner, a persuasive speaker, to being able to create a video and post it on social media!
And if we don’t have it, well, we better go get it!
That’s a huge assumption to make about confidence. And if we have low confidence, does that mean that it's “game over” for us? If we take a closer look at what low confidence really means, we can blow open this whole myth.
Low confidence simply means we have a mild anxiety about a potential threat, due to our “fight or flight mechanism” built into us to protect us from harm. Any time we forecast failure, heightened anxiety is triggered. So, it stands to reason, since this is a perfectly normal human response, that both anxiety, and low confidence, are very common, and also helpful for our survival.
If someone has high confidence, they might be more likely to do something risky in a certain situation, whether or not they are competent. And, if they aren’t competent, there’s a good chance that they will fail.
So, when we talk about people who truly are confident and accomplished, the common thread that connects them, however different they may be, is that they have developed competence. As you build competence, your confidence goes up as a by-product which you’ve earned.
We can break down that act of competence building into 2 stages:
Motivation
We want to develop a skill, whether to be employable, to bake bread, or to sing in an opera. We need that skill because we want success, and at the moment, we recognize our low competence. That low confidence acts as a trigger to motivate us to put in the effort. We look forward to the day when we can feel a sense of satisfaction, and among other things, confidence in our know-how!
Engage the Imagination
It's great to be motivated, but without engaging the imagination, not much is going to happen. When you engage the imagination, you go to that place where you get to innovate and problem-solve; where creativity happens. And, you begin to organize, and make plans, not because these are good things to do, but because your motivation and imagination is holding you accountable.
As we go through these stages of competence building, we tap into a growth mindset, which means we take accountability for our own self-development; for making things happen for ourselves. Having low confidence is not an excuse for what you haven’t achieved. In fact, you can use your low confidence as a motivator to set out to become more competent.
So, build your competence at something - then your increased confidence will follow after a little taste of success. Be willing to accept that at some point, you are a novice, and that’s OK. Your motivation is the fuel to move towards competency, and believe it or not, your low confidence is the trigger.