Reflect on your Mental Models for a More Productive Conversation

We all have our own mental models that determine how we make sense of the world and how we take action, according to Peter Senge. How open are you to the views of other people and changing your ways of thinking?

Senge, who pioneered the concept of mental models, stated that we are often unaware of how they impact what we say, and not say in situations with potential conflict.

Your internal dialogue, not shared, during an exchange with another person might sound like this: He lacks confidence and won’t be able to handle my feedback, so I won’t say what I really think about his performance. 

These assumptions manifest in you skirting around the facts of the matter. You may conclude you’ll have to create pressure to motivate him in some way. In this scenario, nothing is learned about the other person’s perspective.

Senge states that with increased awareness, we have the potential to manage our mental models in order to better collaborate and learn, by developing our skills of self reflection and inquiry.

The first skill of reflection is about slowing down our own thinking. Ask: “What generalizations am I making?” and then “Am I willing to consider that this generalization may be inaccurate or misleading?”

The second skill of inquiry counteracts what often is the norm in business, which is advocacy. People take positions and advocate their viewpoints, and without balancing it with inquiry, differing viewpoints escalate. This can be stopped by simply asking a few questions. “What led you to that viewpoint?”; “Can you tell me how you came to that conclusion? Senge cautions that the inquiry must be a genuine desire to learn about other viewpoints; not just to win an argument but to find the best argument.

As Senge states, when there is a balance of inquiry to advocacy, the limitations of “who wins” dissolves, making possible the discovery of new perspectives from people who see the world from a different lens.

What’s your perspective about being open to other perspectives? What could your next difficult conversation look like if you first opted to reflect on your own assumptions and ask questions?