Overcoming Your Fear of Being Seen

Staying in the Shadows

There have been times in my life when I’ve stayed in the shadows in order to fit in and not make too much of a ruckus. The main reason has been out of a desire to fit in, and feel the acceptance of the tribe. That instinctual drive to fit in is so powerful, to be part of a social group or team, that we pay the price of disowning our individuality, in exchange for this sense of safety and belonging. In doing so, we knowingly or unknowingly short-change our talents. And by pulling back on “being seen”; not expressing our own ideas, suggestions or values, we contribute to the status quo, and deny ourselves and others the possibility for growth and change.

Seeing It Through

After years of “staying safe”, I’ve realized that resisting being seen has been the “elephant in the room” to my goals, my purpose, and sense of satisfaction. One thing I’m doing to overcome this, is to take a stance of “seeing it through”, by making a commitment to myself that I’m in this for the long haul, that this is more of a marathon than a sprint. And by sharing this and saying out loud, “I’m going to do this”, I’m purposely constraining myself, where the only option is to focus on the process, whatever project or goal that may serve.

Being a realist about how long it will take me to be “successful” does not take away the creative discomfort of getting the work out there, starting now. That moment of hitting “send”, or whatever “being seen” looks like for you, is like stepping through a layer in the atmosphere into the unknown. When I expose myself this way, what will happen? Finding that edge – and moving past that, is the moment when you change your relationship with your fear of being seen, and turn it into a source of power.

Overcoming the anticipation of judgment lies at the bottom of this. If people judge you harshly for what you’ve produced, take on a stance of, “that’s OK – they aren’t who this is for”. Slowly but surely, your work will start to connect with the people it is intended for. The fact that it’s representative of who you are is the game changer. As you continue to evolve, it doesn’t have to be perfect as long as it’s created by you to serve a purpose. And the more work you do, the more those edges are explored, your view is expanded. You start to see possibility. You are the same person, only with an authentic point of view that is now being shared with others.

Once you’ve ventured into that unknown, and you’ve re-arranged what’s been blocking your vision (the elephant?!) that shift also releases energy, like having a spell lifted. The path in front of you becomes clearer, and the thing to do, to focus on, is obvious. Without the “what if’s”, it’s easier to start, to stick with in the messy middle, and to ultimately get it out to share with others.