The #1 Partnership You Need To Establish If You Want Meaningful Change in 2021
What are you saying about the start of the New Year? Does it still feel like a turning point as the calendar creeps into February? Or does it feel a bit, meh? It could be that the goal planning that you embarked on has caused a bit of a back-lash. Those dream goals you have around wellness, career and relationship success seem downright intimidating right now.
I had that feeling this morning after I stepped on the scale; that sinking feeling of how I’ve slipped off my health regime and how rapidly the weight has returned that I diligently worked to lose last year. Then I remembered that my dream goal of where I want to be is only an aspirational one. The goals that I need to re-establish a real partnership with are the process goals; the ones that are completely doable, but require daily time and attention.
Last week I led a workshop to explain John Whitmore’s Pyramid of Goals, and one of the primary insights based on the feedback was how hugely helpful it is to know which goals are completely in our control, and which goals need to be stored away.
Process goals are at the bottom of the pyramid, and they train your focus on the things that will support the next level - Performance goals, which in turn, support the aspirational Dream goals at the top of the pyramid. At the bottom of the pyramid, the focus is on goals that are SMARRT – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, relevant and time-based.
So, if you and I want to really make these process goals “stick”, we need to partner with them, and like any healthy partnership, we need to work hard to create Presence, Support and Commitment.
Presence
How can you “show up” in this partnership? How can you be mindful and not take these performance goals for granted? It could be through gratitude; being grateful for every day that you have adhered to the specific and measurable activities that you have scheduled; being grateful of the small micro-steps and the sense of accomplishment doing them gives you. By doing the small steps, our brain can shift into a positive mindset that this is possible – carry on! – is the signal it sends us. The wonderful outcome of focusing on process goals is our brain releases its pre-occupation on negative thinking. Doing “the best you can”, is in itself is a manifestation of the process goals!
Support
We can show our process goals support by making life easier, so the process goals have a chance of getting done. That means making time for them, finding solutions so other things don’t crowd out the calendar. It might be re-evaluating how much time we spend on household activities so we have more energy and time to work on our process goals. Maybe it means planning ahead for meal prep, getting a proper sleep, or taking a hard look at what else is getting in the way. And, maybe it’s getting more support from real life partners so you can better support your process goals.
Commitment
Being committed means saying no to some things that you would really like to do, are tempted to do, so you can honor the agreement in the partnership. One way to do that is by setting boundaries; being clear about what you will do and what you won’t do. Remember too your “why”; that by honoring your process goals, you are working on those doable things that will support your performance goals, which in turn will support your dream goals.
If you are feeling constrained in your partnership with your process goals, it might be time to evaluate how much you have on your plate. It’s important to be intentional and remember the acronym of SMARRT, to make sure you are remaining realistic. Keep your process goals doable so the commitment feels easy. Form a working partnership with your process goals and you will be on your way to success at each level of your goal pyramid.
Coming up in February:
A Guide to Sticking To Your Plan (For Real This Time)
THIS PROGRAM WILL HELP YOU:
Get energized about moving forward with your ideas and projects
Develop your skills to manage the unpleasant feelings that hold you back
Bring focus to your goals and guard your project from detractors
Ask for and accept support and learn how to talk out loud about your project
Enjoy the process and stay on track to reach the finish line